


Now All Our Memories (They're Haunted)

by itsreallylaterightnow



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, BAMF Stephen Strange, Doctor Who AU, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, I fixed it but I made it worse, New York Sanctum, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sad, So much WORSE, The infinity stones cause problems, This hurt me to write, Time Stone, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, as always, because screw endgame, but also I loved doing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24040249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsreallylaterightnow/pseuds/itsreallylaterightnow
Summary: “I want to stay.” Peter stated indignantly, ignoring the blood that dripped from his nose, a waterfall of pain and dread. His head pounded like a river breaking on the shore over and over and over again. He could feel it. The energy that was racing through his bloodstream. His mind was a supernova. Flashes of lights and stars and images of things he had never seen – things he could never understand. Time warping around his consciousness, bending his thoughts into an everlasting loop. He felt the world at his finger-tips and he wanted it to go away. Like a black hole coming to wrap around him as he tried to claw his way back to the surface. Peter took a ground shattering breath – the earth’s plate shifting every time he inhaled. “I was going to be with you… forever.”
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Tony Stark & Stephen Strange
Comments: 22
Kudos: 59





	Now All Our Memories (They're Haunted)

**Author's Note:**

> Alrightyyyyy so here it is!!! 
> 
> A painful one-shot!
> 
> This is an AU of Journey's End - the saddest Doctor Who episode ever
> 
> I hope you enjoy
> 
> Also, biggest thanks to @notapartytrick for being my incredible Beta!! You mean the world to me! <3

Peter grabbed a wrench from Tony’s bench and rolled his chair back over to his work table. May had a big charity event on Sunday, so Peter had decided to spend his weekend with Mr. Stark. The man had invited him over to help work on a car that he recently bought. It was a fixer upper, but that’s what the two loved about it. 

They would talk about life. Mr. Stark never seemed to be able to leave Peter alone when it came to talking about Michelle. He made jokes or teased Peter about kissing her. Peter would just blush – a bright and hot horrible blush. Then they would talk about college. Peter was a junior now, and closer to needing to make a decision than ever. He hated having to think about his future. Sure, he knew he was smart. He knew that he would regret it if he decided to skip out on college, but he loved to be Spider-Man. He loved swinging through the streets of New York, stopping kids from walking in front of cars and keeping peole safe on their walks. He wanted to stay in the city and focus on web-slinging. But between May, Mr. Stark, and Michelle – there was no way that was going to happen. The three of them agreed that he needed to experience college, to go and learn and be young. Mr. Stark pushed MIT, of course. The man would say how easily he could get Peter in. He would offer to pay his way completely, take care of May while Peter was gone. And he really wanted to. Peter desperately wanted to go to MIT and learn more, be challenged. The more he thought about it… well his chest would get all tight and his hands would shake, and tears would slowly fill his eyes. Because he had gotten a second chance. When Mr. Stark had snapped – Peter knew that he was going to die. Peter could hear Mr. Stark’s heart slowly fading out. Could feel the man’s life slowly leaving him, and it had crushed him. Peter was still having nightmares about that day. Stephen Strange had stepped in just at the right time. Doctor Strange and Shuri had rushed Mr. Stark to Wakanda, gotten to work healing the man. It took too long. There was a period of time – days that felt like years as Peter sat on a chair waiting for someone to come in and tell him that Mr. Stark hadn’t made it. That their attempts had been futile. 

Then Shuri had come in, smile on her face. She had explained that they had done it. He lost his arm in the process, but she was already working on a replacement for it. He was awake and he was going to be okay. 

And yeah, since then, the idea of leaving Mr. Stark, of not being right beside the man all of the time caused Peter to freak out. Because what would happen if he were in a life-or-death situation and Peter wasn’t there? He couldn’t be the reason Mr. Stark died. He wouldn’t let it happen. 

Peter was so caught up in his thoughts, that it took Mr. Stark physically shaking his shoulder for him to hear the alarms. His mentor had a strained look on his face. 

“Suit up,” he said, before tapping his chest-plate. Peter gulped before he reached for his backpack, ripping out his suit. He slipped easily into it, pressing the spider-symbol as the material tightened around his body. 

“What’s going on?” Peter asked as Tony stood still. “Shouldn’t we be going … well, wherever the fight is?” 

“We’ve got a ride coming. Listen.” The faceplate on Tony’s suit flipped up – his face wrought with hard lines, worry evident in his eyes. “This is going to be dangerous. Strange requested the both of us, but you stay out of the way. We’ve got a rogue sorcerer in the New York sanctum. He’s after the time stone – I swear on my life I’m sick of those damn stones – and Strange needs our help with this one. But you – you stay  _ out of the way.  _ Web him up from the side. Don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to explain to your aunt that I got you shish-kabobbed on our lab weekend,” Tony teased, but Peter could feel the worry radiating off the man. 

“Got it. Stay out of the way. Web him up from the side. No big deal.” Peter was about to make another joke when his senses pricked. 

A gold circle formed in the lab, and Peter caught sight of Strange, a cut to his forehead and stress wilting his face. Tony flipped the faceplate down and nodded at Peter. 

“Well, are you two coming or not? I don’t have all the time in the world, Stark.” 

“Well, technically you do-“ 

“Shut up and get in here.” Tony nodded, and the two jumped through the ring. 

Peter figured he never would get over the strangeness of being in one location and then suddenly being a completely new one, but he couldn’t think about that right now. The sanctum was a wreck. 

Ancient artifacts had been knocked over; glass was everywhere. Peter looked and saw that Doctor Strange was looking pretty terrible – it made sense that he called the two of them in. 

“What’s this guy’s deal?” Peter asked. They were on the top floor of the sanctum and Peter looked down the massive staircase to see the man in question. 

“He used to be head of this Sanctum, surprise-suprise, he went dark side and he wants the stone for God-knows-what.” Strange’s voice was bitter as he prepared himself for the next attack. Peter nodded, as the man who had previously been on the floor forced himself to stand. 

He was tall and burly. His hair was greasy enough to make Peter think he couldn’t have showered in weeks. His eyes were dark – too dark. Like something was shifting behind them, an ocean in a storm – restless and unforgiving. 

“I… will get that stone.” He said, and then he was flying – literally – forward. Peter jumped onto the railing, shooting a web at the man. It connected with his shoulder as Mr. Stark shot out a beam. The sorcerer opened a portal and the beam went straight through it as Peter yanked down. The man began to fall, but he used a spell to create some strange glowy-sword and sliced straight through Peter’s web. Strange made his own… Peter really needed to think of a better word than “glowy sword”, but it was all he had now. The two met – face to face. Their weapons clashing in an onslaught of sparks. Tony and Peter gave one another a small nod – and they dove into the fight. 

The battle went on for too long. Logically, the three of them should have been able to take care of this sorcerer with no problem, but he was no second-rate wizard. He could open portal after portal, in such a precise way to catch Mr. Stark’s repulsor beams and Peter’s webs, and it almost rendered them useless. Strange was going hand to hand, but things weren’t looking good. 

Then things went from “not looking good” to “absolutely detrimental”. Because in one, swift move, the Sorcerer clocked Stephen in the side of the head with a glowing club. Doctor Strange dropped like a rock, hitting the ground with a  _ thud  _ that caused Peter’s heart to race. 

“Kid! Get the wizard away!” Tony cried, his voice robotic. Peter immediately shot a web, pulling Doctor Strange away from what would have been a deadly blow from the Sorcerer. Tony stepped in, throwing everything he had into the battle. 

Peter knelt beside Stephen, tapping the man’s face. 

“Doctor Strange? Hey, um, didn’t your mom ever tell you it was rude to fall asleep when you’ve invited people over for a fight?” Peter opened his mouth to keep talking, but Stephen let out a grunt. 

“If you keep speaking, I’ll send you to Antarctica.” He grunted; his eyes still closed as his face twisted into a grimace. 

“Yeah… I would last, like, two minutes – you know, spider DNA and all.” Stephen just grunted again. 

And damn himself because Peter should have paid attention. Damn himself because in no way should he have allowed it to happen. Because his spider-sense alerted him one second too late. And Peter turned and what he saw had him bending over in pain _.  _ Gasping because this was supposed to be a simple fight. It was  _ one  _ sorcerer. One. They had fought a mad Titan and his entire army, and they had won… so he should  _ not  _ be looking at Mr. Stark, gripping the sorcerer’s shoulders with a look of shock on his face. He should not be seeing the sorcerer holding a sword – found on the floor of the sanctum – punctured straight through Tony’s abdomen. He should not be seeing blood – too much blood – pouring into the room. 

But he was. And it was happening, and he wanted to scream at Doctor Strange to  _ fucking GET UP!  _

“Mr. Stark!” But the man didn’t look at him. 

And Stephen was still down, sporting a profusely bleeding head wound, his eyes closed. Peter knew that he wasn’t going to be any help right now. And Peter, for the first time, was noticing that the time stone had been knocked loose from its hold. 

Peter had started to pride himself on his decision-making skills. Sure, he still made poor choices, and got in trouble on the regular – but he really wasn’t as stupid as he used to be. He didn’t throw himself in the way of every harmful being coming at him. 

But this was different. 

Because Mr. Stark was on the ground now, and Peter could hear his gasping breaths and his heart slowing – and he could  _ not  _ do that again. The sorcerer was looking at him now – his eyes black with rage. Peter wasn’t much of one for violence. He used webs in order to keep from killing people, he did his best to pull his punches… but not right now. Now was the time to make his punches hurt.

The sorcerer lunged forwards, but Peter was faster. He grabbed the stone, his arm screaming as the pain began to unravel. He had watched Strange use the stone over and over again – he had seen Mr. Stark almost die when he wielded all six, and honestly – Peter had no desire to suffer the curses that the stones gave out. But he would not let Tony die again – not on his watch. 

The sorcerer smirked as he came at Peter with the sword – still dripping with Mr. Stark’s blood. 

Peter felt the stone then, although it didn’t speak to him, it provided a sudden wave of clarity that made him certain of what he had to do. 

He pulled the Time stone back and snapped his fingers – just like Tony had. The exact thing that Mr. Stark had done that had almost gotten him killed. And Peter understood that – if he lived – Mr. Stark would officially murder him, but he didn’t care. Honestly, Peter didn’t just do it because of Mr. Stark – who was still  _ bleeding out  _ – he did it because that sorcerer could not get ahold of the stone. He could ruin the world. 

The snap resonated in his ears. 

But the sound wasn’t what stuck with him. 

It was what he saw. 

Galaxies and murals and stars and all of time and space laid out before him. He saw the realities that Strange had seen. He saw how it could have played out, the devastating things that could have happened. He understood why Strange had allowed Mr. Stark to do what he did. He could see everything. Things that he never would have understood before. He could see all of the realities that he could have had – ones where his parents lived. Ones where Ben lived. He felt his mind wrapping in on itself – warping in and out like a kaleidoscope of ever-shifting colors. 

Then there were hands on him – strong hands that he knew. 

Peter blinked and the galaxies vanished. 

“Peter! Peter – God, sit down kid!” 

Peter just shook his head – his mind felt like it was running on a conveyer belt. Constantly bringing him new knowledge, overflowing the bin. Like every single idea was piling on top of one-another until he couldn’t breathe – couldn’t think. 

“PETER!” He snapped out of it. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He muttered. 

“Mr. Parker – please sit-” He shook his head, grabbing Tony’s arms. 

“Are you okay? Are you okay?” Peter asked - his voice a grain of sand shifting on the shore. 

Mr. Stark just shook his head. “I’m fine – you idiot. I’m fine. You – fucking fixed that. Now, listen to the Doctor here.” Peter nodded, Strange stepping up to him, his eyes flaming with worry. 

“Peter, how are you feeling?” His voice was low. 

“I feel… fine.” Peter said, and honestly, he did. His mind was filled to the top with knowledge – overflowing with knowledge. 

“Your head? How does your head feel?” Strange asked, his voice persistent. 

“I feel fine. The stone opened my mind – it’s better than it has ever been.” The waves crashed against the shore. His mind was running on voltage – too high. Overloading – something was popping in his head - like he had touched a transformer box. Liquid dripped down his lips. It was iron and metal and sharp, and he didn’t like it. 

“Peter, pay attention. I need you to focus on me right now.” He let out a deep breath and looked up at Strange. 

“Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.” Peter said, his voice felt like it was stuck, like he couldn’t stop speaking even if he tried to. Someone squeezed his shoulder – too tight. His winced looking to see Mr. Stark, worry etched into every line of his face. 

“Peter, calm down buddy. We’ve got you, just calm down.” Mr. Stark’s voice - calm. A gentle breeze rustling through tall grass.

The lightning struck again – a blinding pain and he winced. His knees felt weak… they weren’t working. 

“Do you know what’s happening?” Strange’s voice cut through the noise, cut through the pain and the blinding – 

“Yeah.” He muttered… thinks he muttered. Because he knew that his mind wasn’t meant to handle this. He knew too much – more than his brain could take. Like charging an AA battery with a car battery. The input was too much. 

“There has never been someone who could use the Time stone – use the Time stone without training. Do you know why?” Strange’s voice was filled with dread. Peter just nodded, a rush of water flaring through his soul. 

“Because it’s too much. It re…reveals too much.” Peter responded and Strange gave a soft nod. Another lightning strike – more water flowing out of … the taste of iron. Firm hands on his shoulders.

“You know what I have to do?” The Doctor asked. Peter nodded once more – not understanding why-how he knew, but he did. 

“What – what do you have to do?” Tony asked, his voice terse. Peter felt like a tree – hurricane winds too strong as they pulled and tugged and pushed. Threatening him down. 

“I have to -Stark I am truly sorry. I need to remove his memories of these events. If I can get rid of the knowledge, he has that this happened – then all of the certainly overwhelming knowledge that is residing in his head… it will be like folding it into a box, tucking it away in a corner. If he doesn’t remember this, he won’t know the box is there to open. He’ll be safe.” And Peter blinked as he saw Tony shaking his head – fear, worry, dread. 

“Seeing you will only open the box right back up. We have to erase the fact that you two met, keep you apart so we can keep his brain together.” Strange said, and his voice was soft. 

“No – no way. You will abso-fucking-lutely not  _ erase  _ his memories! I-” Tony surely would have continued to rant but the winds were too strong. Peter’s roots snapped; he was a tree falling. Towards the ground … the tile… the 

Someone caught him, and he was being held up against a wall, voices that he couldn’t comprehend because there was  _ too much _ . 

“Stark, if you don’t want him to die, then you have to let me do this. His mind is shutting down – his body is shutting down.” And Tony must have seen it, in the way the leaves were shaking, he must have seen it. Because he gave Strange a nod. The same nod Strange had once given Tony. 

Strange lifted his hand - and suddenly Peter was done with this idea. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to forget the times he had. 

He didn’t want to forget meeting Mr. Stark in his apartment. Webbing him to the door out of fear for Aunt May finding out. He didn’t want to forget Germany, or the argument with Tony that had pushed him into becoming something better. He didn’t want to forget lab nights, meeting Pepper. He didn’t want to forget staying at the tower and the first time he and Mr. Stark had watched all of the Star Wars movies together. He didn’t want to forget taking a fake internship photo after Mr. Stark had insisted it would shut Flash up. As strange as it sounded, he didn’t want to forget going to space. He didn’t want to forget dying or coming back. He didn’t want to forget any of it. He didn’t want to. 

“I want to stay.” Peter stated indignantly, ignoring the blood that dripped from his nose, a waterfall of pain and dread. His head pounded like a river breaking on the shore over and over and over again. He could feel it. The energy that was racing through his bloodstream. His mind was a supernova. Flashes of lights and stars and images of things he had never seen – things he could never understand. Time warping around his consciousness, bending his thoughts into an everlasting loop. He felt the world at his finger-tips and he wanted it to go away. Like a black hole coming to wrap around him as he tried to claw his way back to the surface. Peter took a ground shattering breath – the earth’s plate shifting every time he inhaled. “I was going to be with you… forever.” 

Tony was crying now – a waterfall cascading down his face. Peter suspected he was doing the same thing. 

“Look at me. Peter, look at me.” He didn’t want to. But he did. Lifted his eyes – the earth. Looked into Mr. Stark’s coffee and motor oil and love. 

“I want to stay with you.” Peter whispered. “The rest of my life… stay with you – saving the world. I don’t want to forget all of this. Who will I become?” His voice was barely a whisper as Tony nodded. 

“I know. But you will be exactly who you are. Exactly as good as you are.” Tony’s hand rested on the side of Peter’s head, his eyes holding the sadness of a lonely ocean. “Peter. God, kid, I am so sorry. But we had the best of times.” And they had. They really had. 

Then someone’s hand was on his head – Strange. 

“No –“ He wanted to fight, but trees without roots have no means of staying upright. 

“The best. Goodbye.” 

“No – no – no – no!” He didn’t want to go. 

And like being struck by an unbeatable force – into a black hole of time and space and gravity – his entire world shifted into darkness. 

\- 

Peter wouldn’t remember what happened. He wouldn’t remember why May was crying when he walked out of his room from where he woke up on his bed. He asked her, but she just told him that it was private. He would just go about his day, telling May that he was going to go out as Spider-Man. That made her cry harder, but she just nodded. Peter dropped open his trap door, his onesie falling out and he grinned, pulling it on. 

He would spend the rest of his life feeling like he was missing something. He would go on to study Biomechanical Engineering at MIT, on some weird scholarship May had put him in for. It was called the IS Scholarship, and Peter had tried researching it, but nothing came up. He just knew he wasn’t spending a dime to go to school, and he was happy about it. 

Peter felt as though there were this… gaping hole in his head. It was the same feeling he always got when he got a concussion – like a hole in his memory that he didn’t know how to fill. 

And every once in a while, he would feel as though that hole were filled. He would catch a glimpse of a man. A man standing off just out of reach. He would always be in a hat and sunglasses, a coat pulled tightly up to his chin, hiding behind the corner of a building. Peter would find him staring – stock still. Sometimes it felt as though they were locked. A magnet drawing nearer to itself. But every time Peter tried to grasp it – every time he walked forward; he would get there a second too late. A cat and mouse game in which he somehow  _ knew  _ that he would never catch the man. He would never be able to fill that hole. 

Peter caught himself looking forward to those moments… it was almost like a glimpse into his – past? That didn’t make sense, sure. Because as far as his memories made known, he had never seen that man in his life. 

But Peter Parker would never be able to deny, seeing that man felt like  _ home.  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> say hi on my Tumblr @itsreallylaterightnow I love speaking to you all! Hugs and Kisses to you all!!!


End file.
